


Good Fortune 4

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Series: Good Fortune
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 01:15:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/792339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon and Blair try to sort out their relationship, while Jim deals with his fear of intimacy.<br/>This story is a sequel to Good Fortune 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Fortune 4

## Good Fortune 4

by Grey

Author's webpage: <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

Disclaimer: Not mine. 

Summary: Simon and Blair sort out their relationship while Jim tries to figure out what to do about his fear of intimacy. 

Notes: Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for all her support. 

Warnings: None. 

* * *

Good Fortune 4  
By Grey 

"I'm feeling a little confused here, Simon." Blair frowned and stood next to his friend and lover, his arms crossed around his chest. The sucker punch to his heart left him aching all over. "What the hell just happened?" 

"I was testing a theory." 

"A theory about what, how far you can push Jim before he goes over the edge? He's not ready for whatever it is you have in mind and I don't think I am, either." 

Simon cupped his cheek and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't do this to hurt you." 

"Too late, man." Blair turned and walked away, his body tight, his hands tucked up under his armpits to control the shaking. "I just don't understand what the fuck you were thinking. What? You get a taste of the new life and get greedy? You want a two for one special?" 

"It's not like that." Simon stepped closer, but didn't try to touch him. "Being with you has changed my life. I love you." 

"And Jim?" 

"I love him, too." As Blair moved away, Simon grabbed his arm. "Please, just let me explain." 

Looking down at the hand on his arm, Blair's eyes narrowed. "Let me go, man." 

Releasing him, Simon stood straighter before he begged again. "Please, Blair, just sit down and listen. What I have to say is complicated, but I think you'll understand if you'll just hear me out with an open mind." 

Blair met pleading brown eyes and swallowed hard before he finally shrugged. "This better be good, Simon. I'm not into being used or fucked over and neither is Jim." 

"I'm not doing that." The older man motioned him to the couch. "Come on. Sit down. You want a beer?" 

"I want an explanation." 

"Fine." 

As Blair settled on the sofa, he tucked his hair back behind his right ear. He pulled his legs up under him, his body still uneasy and nervous, the image of Simon touching Jim so tenderly playing over and over in his head. "Let's start with when did you find out about Jim and Incacha and why did you call him on it just now if it's such a big secret?" 

Simon paced in front of the window, rubbing his hands together. "After Incacha died, Jim came to me for the arrangements. You know how upset he was. I knew he'd lived with the Chopec for a year and a half, so I figured this was a really good friend, but I've seen Jim lose friends before, people like Danny and Jack even. This was different." 

"How?" 

"He was angry before, but this time he was quiet, really sad. You remember how he was." 

"Yeah, I do, but how did you find out about the relationship? He never said a thing to me." He hated Simon knowing something so important, so essential to Jim without him being in on it. Why didn't Jim trust him enough to tell him, to share something so vital?" 

"We were alone in the morgue. I think Jim forgot I was there because he touched Incacha's face, caressed it really. I'd never seen Jim cry like that before. When I asked him about it, he couldn't talk, but later over a beer, he did. The last six months in Peru he and Incacha lived together in every sense of the word." 

"But why didn't he tell me?" 

"I don't know." Simon stood still and shook his head. "I don't think he remembered at first." 

"What?" 

"The way he said things, it was like he'd just remembered the details and was still recovering from the shock." 

Blair closed his eyes and touched his forehead, his mind racing back over that time period, wondering how he could've missed the clues about Jim's connection to Incacha. The cushion dipped beside him and he opened his eyes to see Simon's concerned face. "You okay?" 

"Not really, but keep talking. Tell me why you brought this up now. What did you hope to accomplish?" 

"I want Jim to be honest. He's pissed at me for not telling him about my feelings for you, but he hasn't been honest, either. I know he has feelings for you and I'm hoping he feels the same way about me." 

Blair shook his head, confusion still fuzzing his thinking. "You really think that's true?" 

"Yeah, I do, Blair. I just think he has a hard time admitting he wants more than friendship with anyone, much less another man. He repressed his feelings for Incacha and I'm betting he's doing it again about us. I think he's been doing it for a long time." 

"But how can you be so sure?" 

"I've suspected for awhile, but the way he acted today made it even more plain. He was beyond pissed. He was hurt, more hurt than I've ever seen him. Ask yourself why. Why would us being together make him so miserable if it didn't go deeper?" 

"Jim's got a lot of trust issues, Simon. You know that. He thinks you don't trust him enough to tell him about yourself when he took a chance and told you about Incacha. Plus, I'm pretty sure he's pissed off that you said anything about it in front of me, because he knows he should've told me himself." 

"But don't you get it? He thought it was safe to tell me." 

"Because he thought you were straight?" 

"Hell, I thought I was straight, but the thing is, he thought if you found out, well, you might force him to act on it." 

"I'd never do that." 

"I know that, but Jim doesn't always think like we do." 

"You've got that right." Still troubled, Blair shifted on the sofa to face Simon, his voice strained. "That still doesn't explain why you came on to him just now." 

Reaching over, Simon took Blair's hand and held it, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry about that. I just thought it would be the best way to be out in the open with our feelings. You can't tell me you don't love Jim as much as I do." 

Blair didn't pull away, but he avoided making eye contact. "In all the time we've been together, Jim's never once acted like he wanted to be more than best friends. Not once, Simon, and believe me, I've been paying attention." 

"I know, but you haven't always been looking where I have. I've seen how he looks at you when he thinks he's safe. I haven't been a cop for more than twenty years not to recognize that kind of desire when I see it. Add to that, I've caught him looking at me the same way when he didn't expect it. He's played it off, but I've seen it first hand. He's attracted to both of us and just won't admit it." 

"He's afraid." 

"Yeah, I know." 

In a hushed voice, Blair met dark eyes. "I'm afraid, too, Simon. Were you thinking about all this last night when we went to bed together?" 

Cupping his face, Simon shook his head in denial. "I was thinking about you, Blair, not Jim or anything else except how lucky I am. The world didn't end when I touched you." 

"What?" 

"All this time, I thought the world would explode if I ever did what I really wanted, but it didn't end. It just got better." 

"I'm down with that." Relaxing, Blair smiled and eased closer, the larger man pulling him into a hug. After a few moments, Blair shifted and sat between his legs with his back resting against Simon's chest, the dark arms wrapped around his body. He spoke quietly, his words forming slowly. "Okay, I think I have a better idea of what this all means, but I want to be clear about some things." 

"Okay, that's fair." 

"You want Jim to join us, right? Sort of a threesome thing?" 

"Yeah, I do." 

"You think otherwise, Jim's never going to accept us as a couple because of the jealousy deal, that he's been hiding his sexuality and his attraction all along, right?" 

"Right." 

"So what happens if he takes off or just shuts down?" 

Simon rubbed his chin gently on the top of Blair's head. "I'm hoping that won't happen." 

"But what if it does? He's scared shitless right now, Simon." The words choked as he remembered the fear on Jim's face as he rushed out earlier. "You know how he gets. He builds these fucking walls all around him. What if he just tells us to go to hell like he did with his family?" 

Pulling back, Simon turned Blair around, his face grim, but determined. "Answer me something before I answer that." 

"What?" 

"Do you truly love Jim?" 

"Of course." Before the older man could say anything else, Blair touched his cheek. "I love you, too, Simon, and yes, I can love you both at the same time." 

Smiling, Simon leaned in, the kiss brief, but heated. Pulling back, he whispered, "Then we have to make sure Jim understands that. We'll tag team his ass." 

"It won't be easy." 

"Nothing worth having ever is." 

* * *

Jim threw the blows with all his heart, his fists hammering the punching bag over and over. Each contact slammed into hard leather, the punishing force brutal to his hands and shoulders. The pain centered him, focused his energy away from his thinking. 

"Hey, man, you want to lighten up before you hurt yourself?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Yeah, I can see that." Brown shoved the bag away and stood back, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I've had enough for now. Why don't you take on the weights for awhile? I'll spot you." 

Dazed, he shook his head, his mind still foggy. "Weights?" 

"Maybe a shower and drive home would be better." 

Home? Even the word scared him. 

"I did the weights before you came in. Think I'll do some rope work." 

Picking up a towel, Brown cleaned his face and then draped it around his neck. As Jim stripped off the boxing gloves, he asked, "I know this is none of my business, man, but did something happen between you and Blair?" 

Jim didn't slow down, didn't look up, just grabbed the jump rope and started a rhythm. "I'm working out, H. What's that got to do with Sandburg?" 

"I don't usually see you in here on the weekend." 

"So?" 

"Nothing, man. You just seem a little out of it." 

The rope tangled and Jim stopped jumping. He tossed it down, the wooden handles clacking as he grabbed his own towel, his movements even more tense. "I'm fine, Brown. Just get off my back about Sandburg." 

"Sure, man. Just asking." 

"Well, stop asking." His voice thickened as he strained to control his temper. "I'm sick and tired of everyone assuming I don't have a fucking life without his ass tagging along." 

Brown stepped in closer, ignoring the concerned looks all around them. He kept his voice even as he reached out. "Calm down, Jim. I didn't mean anything." 

Jerking back, Jim shook his head, his eyes closed momentarily. "Just leave me alone, H. I'm sorry. I'm shit for company right now." 

Standing very still, Brown took a deep breath. "I'm your friend, man. You want to talk, I'll be over at Leary's later. Catch a shower and come see me." 

Reluctantly, Jim met worried brown eyes. "I appreciate it, but there's nothing to talk about." 

"Then we'll just have a drink together. Maybe relax a little. You're a little tense, my friend." 

"Maybe another time, H. I'm going to get a shower and catch up on the Summers report." 

"Now I know it's serious. Call 911, baby. Ellison's doing paperwork on a Sunday." 

Smiling weakly, Jim shrugged at his friend's playful teasing. "Might as well do it now as in the morning." 

"Yeah, the captain's a real bear about those deadlines." 

At the mention of Simon, Jim frowned again and turned away to get his towel and gloves. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the workout." 

"No problem. I'm just glad I wasn't the one you were punching." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I mean, the way you were hitting the bag, man. You must be pissed at somebody. I'm glad it's not me." 

"No, it's not you." 

"But it's somebody, right?" 

"Leave it alone, H." 

"Sure, man. Whatever. I'll be at the bar 'til ten if you change your mind, okay?" 

"Thanks." 

As his friend walked away, Jim considered the shower, but slipped on the boxing gloves instead. He needed another round, more safe anonymous punches so he wouldn't be tempted to beat the shit out of Simon the next time he saw him. 

* * *

"It's getting late, Simon. Where the hell is he?" 

"I don't know. He's not answering his cell phone." 

Blair paced in front of the window, pushing his hair back away from his face. "I don't like this. Maybe we should go look for him." 

Simon sat at the table fingering the edge of his coffee mug. "I don't think that's a good idea. He'll come home when he's ready." 

Before Blair could argue, the phone rang and he answered. "Sandburg." 

"Hey, Blair, it's Brown." 

The tense voice scared him. "H, what's wrong?" 

"It's Jim, man." 

"You've seen him?" 

"You two have a fight or something?" 

Blair swallowed hard and glanced over at Simon. "Or something. Where is he?" 

"I left him in the gym at the station. I know it's none of my business, but I thought you ought to know." 

"Thanks. I appreciate it." 

Brown hesitated before he added, "Word to the wise, man." 

"What?" 

"Let him work it out before he comes home." 

Biting his lower lip, Blair closed his eyes and imagined Jim's confused anger. "I understand, H. I'll wait here." 

"Cool. Talk at you later, man." 

After he hung up the phone, Simon stood beside him. "What's going on?" 

"Brown was worried about Jim. Says he's at the gym working through whatever shit he's going though." 

"Damn." 

"I know." Touching Simon's chest gently, Blair sighed. "I think you should go home." 

Taking the younger man's hand in his, Simon frowned and petted back a wild curl from the side of his face. "What about you?" 

"I want to talk to Jim alone. I don't think you should be here right now. We have to take this slow. Trust me." 

Palming the side of Blair's face, Simon smiled. "I can do more than that." Lips pressed together, the slow heat rising rich and easy before he pulled back. "I wish you were going home with me now, but I understand. Talk to him. Find out how to reach him." 

"I'll try." 

"Call me later, okay?" 

Walking him to the door, Blair hugged him briefly before pulling away. "It could be late." 

"I don't care what time it is. I want to know you're both okay." Simon pulled on his coat and gave a final quick kiss before he left. 

Leaning back on the door, Blair closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, his mind prowling the edges of panic. He wanted to race out and find Jim, drag his ass home and make him listen. Instead, he rubbed his face with both hands and decided he needed a battle plan. Opening up his laptop, he put on his glasses and started to make a list of all the arguments Jim might make and all the answers he and Simon had to offer. Clear and precise, the list filled several pages before he slammed down his fist and grumbled, "Jim, where the hell are you?" 

* * *

By one in the morning, Blair still paced the loft, his body tense as he waited. When the key turned the lock, he stood still, his arms crossed. Jim didn't say anything as he took off his coat and locked the door. 

"Jim?" 

"I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Jim tossed the keys in the basket and headed for the bathroom. 

"We need to talk." 

"You need to talk. I don't." He closed the door as Blair stood on the other side. 

"You can't just pretend nothing happened." From behind the door, Blair listened to the sounds of Jim relieving himself and washing his hands. After a few moments, Jim opened the door, his face stony. "Move out of the way." 

Stepping aside, Blair's heart tightened as Jim headed toward the stairs. "Jim, please." 

Without warning, Jim whirled, his voice rough as his eyes narrowed in anger. "Please what? I told you I don't want to talk about it. Can't you just leave it alone until I figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to do here?" 

Keeping his distance, Blair swallowed hard, his throat straining to form words. "Don't be pissed, man. I'm sorry." 

Turning away, Jim stood by the window, his arms crossed, his jaw clenching. After a few moments, he finally spoke. "I can't deal with this right now, Chief. I just can't. This whole business with you and Simon and what he did today, it just threw me." 

"I know." 

"I mean, I thought he was my friend." 

"He is your friend, Jim. He loves you." 

"He fucks you and then comes on to me while you're standing right there? I don't even know him." 

"He thought it was the only way to make you be honest about your feelings." 

"My feelings are my own damn business." His voice softened slightly, the hurt stretching them out as he headed towards the stairs again. "Go to bed, Chief. We're done here." 

"You know that's not true." 

Mid way, Jim stopped and did a half turn. "I don't know shit anymore, Blair. Get some sleep. It's late." 

"Just tell me it's not too late to fix this." Blair held his breath while he waited. 

"I can't tell you that." Reluctantly, he added, "Just give me some time to get used to this whole thing." 

"The whole thing being me and Simon or what Simon did?" 

"All of it." He raised one hand to his forehead, his eyes closed, his voice pleading. "I've had all I can handle for one day. Can you just let it go?" 

"Yeah, sure, Jim. For now." 

Night and silence settled in before Blair walked down to the pay phone to call Simon. 

The end 


End file.
